the monotony of marriage?

Dinner last night was of unhealthy (and stomach-rioting) McDonald food and of conversations that revolved around the topic of marriage and relationships. Amidst the faux pas (made by Lynette!), there were disquieting notions that marriage is a scary (as opposed to sacred) pact that binds you to a person for eternity.

Doesn't it get boring looking at the same person for the next 50 years as you wake up each morning? How can anyone stand this oppressive sense of monotony? Lynette and Ye Wei seems to be veering on the side of cohabitation, but the idealist in me certainly didn't agree with that option. I don't have any unique reasons for not supporting cohabitation, and I guess I would subscribe to the general feel about cohabitation and marriage.

Regarding the issue of monotony, I was thinking there isn't really much of an issue about it. If you haven't realised, don't you think that in our daily interaction with countless other people, the more we know about a person, the more we want to know more about them? I guess this curiosity stems from the fact that as we get to understand a person better, we come to realize how little we actually know about them.

Ye Wei posed an interesting counter to that though. He wonders about the limit to knowing a person, that the more we know a person, the less we will get to know about him or her. Another side of the argument could be information saturation, the stage where we think we know all about the person. I highlight the word 'think' because I don't think we will ever fully, completely, and wholly understand any single individual. Because everyone changes, and everyone changes every moment.

Every new interaction may provide us new insights. Every new friend may bring us to greater acceptance or rejection of various issues. Every day brings new forces into our lives that compete with existing ideals. The world changes, and the world is changing faster with every day. People call that globalization, and yes, globalization is, indeed, changing us every day. As such, we can never say we fully understand a person, but what we can say as a friend, brother or son is that we understand the person better than others.

And that is why I doubt marriage will ever become monotonous. In a union of true love, both parties are consistently committed to engaging with one another, to knowing one another better, to loving one another better. Arguments, spats, fights, crises in life, deaths, every single thing good and bad is something that can help to strengthen the foundations of your relationship with your spouse. Marriage is interesting, marriage is exciting, marriage is desirable! But to achieve all these, you must first believe, and only by believing will a virtuous cycle of positive dynamics be perpetuated. Keep loving, keep believing, and the world will be a better off place.