sinful

haha just came back from celebrating anna's birthday. basically it's super SINFUL - we went to new york where i had bbq spare ribs and shared a two-course dessert that includes chocolate mudpie and some apple icecream thing. haha oh well but once in a while it's ok right? =)

and during our lunch, kovan and i went to get cotton candy for the girls. but felly anna and shihua didn't really like it so giraffe ended up eating their share xD haha i dunno how she can stand eating so much sugar, but guess she just likes it a lot.

and i didn't dare to wear the purple shirt they bought for my birthday to new york! haha but i changed out in the end since it was my birthday gift and giraffe had painstakingly drew the new design, so it's quite bad to not wear it.

following that, we went to watch 'made of honour'. the plot is obvious from the start and follows the usual love cliches that television shows are so prone to displaying these days. but the show was generally quite comical and funny, and the acting was quite well done, with good chemistry between the two leads.

and i find it nice to watch a movie after immersing myself into council these two weeks. for this time period from investiture to handover, my mind was totally tuned into the council frequency, and i couldn't really concentrate much on other stuff. so movies are nice in that they create a bridge for our thoughts to cross, moving from all the chaos to a sanctuary that provides peace and serenity to our minds.

while watching movies, our thoughts are forced to channel through the tunnel where the mind is assaulted with images, ideas and sentiments. in this way, we extract ourselves from the present and plunge our minds into the alternate reality created by the show, and for this moment, we are liberated from our worries, and there's this feeling of freedom and being carefree.

and the movie drags out my past queries of love and relationships. haha but i'm too tired to write it all out, and it's more fun to talk about it with friends and pass my thoughts and theories through the screen of another person.

so, how does it feel to be in love?

WOOHOO

Netball match was awesome today! hahaha can't stop repeating that. A scintillating match that clearly displayed the class of our Netball girls as we lost our 9-point advantage before overcoming the 5-point deficit to emerge eventual victors in this quarterfinals! The last 5 minutes was a flurry as our girls fought hard to claw their way back. Losing 5 points to our Hwa Chong opponents in the dying moments of the match, our first goal to reverse the trend sparked an unstoppable momentum that eventually devastated our HC rivals, assailing ball after ball into the net as we collected more and more points. Of course, this is just the quarterfinals, and by winning this crucial match, the girls next take on SA instead of AC, thus increasing their chances of reaching the finals exponentially.

haha of course, apart from the rollercoaster ride of a match, another highlight was the behaviour of the HC supporters. They didn't do anything wrong, or out of place, and I guess it's just our whacky sense of humour that found the way they shook the number of points left to catch up to us with their hands in a forceful behaviour funny. hahahaha had a fun time imitating them xD alright we were a bit mad. Disclaimer: No intended offense to our HC counterparts!

And I've finally managed to get my hands on the Teachers' Day Committee group photo! And here's our wonderful picture:

history + scam

Dear friends,
You can rewrite history, but you can't rewrite your essays! So let's hope history repeats itself and allow our marks to be as golden as the age of capitalism. Study hard and don't hope for a miracle - for a crisis follows swiftly after one!

historyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! if i were to describe international history with one word, it would be 'unlucky'. having studied everything BUT china, they just have to test us china. nice. but overall it wasn't that tough a paper just that it's uncertain whether i can score well enough.

and a taxi driver scammed funx and i today. after dropping mel off at her home area, we proceeded to wander around in the taxi until we realised we weren't reaching our destinations. so here's the conversation funx had with the taxi driver.

fs: excuse me, where are we going?
td: *acts shocked* i don't know! where do you guys want to go? you never say, and i thought you guys dropping off at the same area as that girl. but how i know you never drop off?
so he's justified to bring us around singapore thinking we had no destination??? nice try ya.
fs: er, but nick told you just now what.
td: huh? really? i never hear. *hmphs* you never tell me how i know?
an awkward silence ensued, pulsating with shock and disgust at such obvious false pretense and desperate attempt to earn a little more money.
nick: ok ok never mind. can you go to ...

and so it ended. and we were quite obviously piffed off at being scammed. by that time, the meter was running above $15 excluding surcharge and we weren't that close to our homes either. usually, each of us just have to pay $5 or less for a trip from school.

but above the issue of the cash lies the scheming and dishonest attitude of the taxi driver! zzzzzzzzzzz i think funx and i were too trusting, never thought that baldy would try to scam us. ok ok shldn't go into personal attacks here. never thought that the man blessed with hair deficiency that attracts the gleaming rays of sunlight, and upon the incidence of its apparently smooth surface, fashions a literally stunning sight that many would love to touch, but not have.

in fact, the thought of getting cheated never even crossed our minds. we were still reeling from the completion of the essay marathon.

ok sian. it's time for maths.

chess and cycling

haha school ended early today. after school was chess frenzy! played like almost 10 rounds of chinese chess to brush up my skills before ihc chess tomorrow. haha not bad it was refreshing to engage in an ex-hobby and it's a good warm-up for the brain. i shall not turn on the com anymore tonight and study hard for econs!

after that, reached home and cycled around the neighbourhood. oh man, i think i need to start exercising again. since chinese new year i have been rotting away, and now my chin-ups have decreased to 10, whereas my jumps have become shorter - from 270+ to 260+ >< ok ok i shall ration the time i spend online. hmmm max 2h a day? haha unless it's training for interschool dota la, then i guess have to make allowances.

speaking of interschool dota, it's just next week! haha quite exciting. there are fewer teams allowed to compete this year so the quality of matches is most probably gonna be better, but it also means it's faster to reach the finals (haha that's an extremely optimistic view).

between jobweek and interschool dota, i think my mugging is gonna be ggxxed =( that's why i have to allocate my time better. like much MUCH better. haha if you see me online, please bug me to get off the com!

my ability to rationalise myself to do the things i like instead of doing the things i have to is incredible.

oh oh before i forget! haha while cycling i witnessed an amusing scene. i was just cycling round the bend when i saw two people. soooooooooooo what's wrong with this two people? well, this old dude was happily listening to his mp3 and jogging. but when he jogged past some guy in school uniform, he brushed the back of the student's hair and then continued jogging! it's like ?!?!?!?! that guy just rubbed the back of his head in confusion and continued his leisure pace.

as for myself?
i just smiled.

valentine's

valentine's day.
had to work through the sea history essay through the night. haha it was one of the more difficult questions to work through, and to tease an argument out of the vague and undefined boundaries of the question was not easy. eventually, despite my resistance against sleep, i still succumbed to its seduction and fell asleep at 4+. but more important than not completing the history essay was the fact that i have not finished folding the paper hearts for the bb27ths' valentine's surprise! ><

and so, i woke up a few hours later with a headache, feeling numbed and groggy. hurriedly sent my sea documents to my email for completion later during the day and cut out the pieces of square needed for the hearts.

i alighted my dad's car and began an uneasy ride towards school, with the knowledge that i would be fighting against time that day. fighting very hard indeed.

reached the school at 650. late. haha had asked the bb guys to meet at 630 >< oh well, only junwei was there. folded the hearts and quickly discussed the plans. but all too soon, it was 7, and there was only 10-15 mins before the impending surprise. haha i had scammed the girls saying we're gonna do dances and sing songs. ok anw the lack of time = had to scrape the hanging hearts plan. so came up with another plan with some corny lines to it. ok perfect! time to execute it!

luckily kovan and ye wei arrived then and by then, they had been briefed on the changes to our plan. haha kovan carried his guitar around and the girls later revealed that they sort of suspected something. kovan! ><

made the girls meet us at the council canteen. formed a line. asked them to close their eyes. haha jw and i then led them to our 'secret location'. once they are there, we allowed them to open their eyes! haha and with the burning candles forming the shape of a heart, we started singing them a few songs. there were 52 paper hearts leading to the heart on fire. 4 special hearts from 4 ordinary guys to 13 extraordinary girls. =)

yes! the surprise was a success! haha ok. next was class surprise which was in a ggfied state. very hard to plan with the guys in my class 'cos they didn't respond very enthusiastic to the plan =| oh well, in the end we just sang a song for the girls after maths lesson. haha but i think it doesn't matter whether it was elaborate or not, as long as the girls enjoyed it.

and so, end of vday surprises!

haha my og super nice gave me a very cute pillow and a very nice card =D but apparently the pillow is some couple pillow -.-" somehow j1s always think their ogls are attached. haha oh well, i was in their shoes before.

ok that's all for valentine's! =)

market of scandals

today i was dead tired. like totally dead. tired. had to hardcore the econs essay until 4am, and the few hours of sleep before i awake for school didn't really help - in fact, it only served to make me more drowsy and tired, a fatigue characterised by body aches and a slight headache.

went to school. had 2 bdae celebrations today! finally managed to celebrate aj's bdae after like 8 days of delay >< haha at least it's done. not too bad i guess! then ogling jia le's birthday too. had to ferry forward and back between two venues. tiring.

maths lecture began and killed me.
but the maths tutorial at the end of the day was good. hahaha managed to participate a bit and consolidated my understanding of power series better.

LECTURE TESTS! econs next week followed by maths the following week. !@#$#$%@#$%$%^#$%^ GGXX! hahahaha seriously will die? especially econs dunno what they are testing on. and p&c coming out for maths? life is tough.

today's happenings confirmed my nagging suspicion that girls thrive in the market of scandals and rumours. actually, recent events had constructed the foundations of this theory - what with turning my nice bb welfare thread into a nonsensical scandal-full one? not to forget, the perpetual groundless accusations pointed at me as they randomly linked me up with others! ESPECIALLY MY EVIL HOUSED PLZ. allow me to defend my tarnished creed, for the scandal-less me certainly feel much aggrieved at this injustice. the idealistic me holds on to a deep-seated and entrenched belief in a fairytale love, a love that begins and knows no end, a relationship that resembles the ones tales and folklores are oft to adore and advocate.

hahaha no la actually i'm always confused about such stuff, so i'd rather not talk about it. such things are indefinite and unpredictable - wait too long and the moment might pass, rush headlong and suffer pain of loss. i just think that when both parties caught on to the spark of chemistry, love will develop, like a seed falling into fertile ground.

so just be patient. and stop talking nonsense, my frens. =)

i'm damn tired.

14-15

yesterday was a surprise free day; unexpected, and very welcome. still not in the mood for studying (something i better correct soon!), i decided to go library and read some books.

and i read 'tuesdays with morrie'. haha couldn't believe i've never read such an enlightening, encouraging, and enchanting book! many times, we have come across the thoughts depicted in the book, but these ephemeral threads of ideas often evaporate into oblivion, leaving behind nothing. the engaging book keeps us thinking and considering the many aspects of daily lives. it also puts into perspective many articles of relevance and allows us to comprehend them better.

Maybe death is the great equaliser, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another.

There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like.

haha a MUST-READ for people of all ages!

haha and some people i think really nothing better to do go spread nonsense -.-" haiz, rumours ruin relationships. haha oh well.

anyway, i don't think i would want to get a girlfriend in jc. it's a time for making new friends and seasoning old friendships, and relationships tend to make both parties become more isolated i guess. haha i dunno. such things are unpredictable.

and highlights is crazy! haha hardcored in school again. tiring but fun at times. I HAVE MASTERED THE 09 BATCH DANCE! =) oh well did a lot of other stuff, but can't blog about it. hahaha can't wait for my little oglings. ok, 1 yr difference not so little. haha T'STARDUST BB02!

haha these photos were taken during our logs purchasing trip. we were offered a free ride on the lorry! how exciting, lucky and fun! hahaha highlights ftw!

on a side note, i'm in EA... can't be with my og during that period. =(
ok everyone jiayou! 2 MORE WEEKS TO ORIENTATION!

bbhoused stayover!

True hope dwells on the possible, even when life seems to be a plot written by someone who wants to see how much adversity we can overcome. Walter Anderson.

it has been tiring, but interesting; stressing, but rewarding. these few weeks have not been merciful to me - what with the irritating flu and cough that struck, and now the companionable fatigue. going to school every day and coming home late - it has fast become a routine that my mind mechanically adopts. and sometimes, days that ended early only seem to leave me reeling from the vacuum conceived by the sudden absence of work.

i guess this exhaustion is slowly being ingrained into our lives, and we have to learn to adapt to its dreadful existence. but in difficulties, there lie opportunities. being tired also means being more easily irritable, and being less amiable towards others than usual. fatigue is many times the obstacles to potential friendships and greater intimacy, so sweep away this gloom-and-doom temper and allow the bright sunny smile of yours to burst through the hovering rainclouds! hahaha it's never easy, but at least do try it before you forecast your own thunderstorm ;)

hahaha alright time to talk about the crazy, insane, tiring, exhausting, fun, nonsensical housed stayover! and so we met up at holland v for lunch before proceeding to felly's house. haha the katong laksa there is super nice! like the gravy a lot, do try it out if you have the chance. after that, went to purchase food stuff to last us through the night.

once we reach felly's house, it's time to work! haha it's too boring to describe the drudgery we had to go through as we messaged fellow beans, discussed matters, consider alternative points of view, wrote proposals, fashioned designs and basically, WORK, WORK AND STILL WE'RE WORKING!

so we foamed and died and turned crazy, though 'mindless zombies' may seem to be a more apt description of our states at one point of time. mmm but we really settled a lot, A LOT of stuff so it's really great. hahaha ok i shall start listing the following articles of loyalty to our wonderful house that will most certainly raise the envy of everyone else! just kidding xD but anw...

OUR FIRST NEWSLETTER EVER! and it's called LEAFLET!
THE FIRST HOUSE BLOG EVER! and it's to be launched on CHRISTMAS! do look out for it!
OUR FIRST HOUSE MECHANDISE EVER! and it's SILVER COLLAR PINS for all!
hahaha and many other initiatives, but the rest are supposed to be concealed and only ready to be revealed at a later date. =D

nice nice. i'm happy with all the designs. hahaha

we hardcored through the night and only decided to sleep at 4am. oh man, if you think staying up in chalets without a wink of sleep is tiring, try thinking and working without sleep for an interminable period of time. hahaha but it was fun at times. lame laughing sessions where people can start laughing at the most humourless objects. random dance sessions where we tried to teach felly and shihua some parts of the new dance. hahaha JOSEPH IF U SEE THIS, i tried to get the rest to play the game but they not sporty! xD

sadly, they can be super unresponsive at times. i posted the 'WHAT'S LIFE' question to them and they listened to the interesting analogies, but never provided any. =(

ok anw, fast-forward to next morning. did workplan. everyone was dying. continued the newsletter, which is almost completed now. council camp. new initiatives. basically another thinking marathon, but this time the legs of our brains have gone wobbly from being overtaxed.

damn tired.
and life is tough.
not a single free day until after dry run.
sigh.

highlighters, let's strive on.

day 2

hahaha i'm still awake at such a late hour. i must be crazy. too much to write, too much to talk. next time i should just close msn. xD hahaha

Mmm. Nothing very eventful. hahaha just a lot of photo-taking again xD

...there’s a certain distance now, a feeling that while we have a lot in common, good fences still make good neighbours.

I rarely read a book twice, and the same applies to movies and everything else. And to take up Rule of Four after a few years was something unexpected for me. I realise that reading it through the second time, I begin to notice little nuances I have never seen before, and see things in a better light. Sometimes, I think I must really learn to cultivate patience in repetition.

haha talking to some friends made me realise something – in everyone’s life, there is a code to be broken, a code to be deciphered, a code to be understood. Some choose to express them in riddles, whereas others mask them behind commonplace words. Languages, songs and everyday references – none is spared in this endless game we all play to amuse ourselves, and to protect ourselves.

We all have fragile hearts, and it is the means by which we choose to shield them that makes us all different in many ways. Some prefer to layer this glass sculpture with fortified barricades, thinking that detachment is the best course of defence. Others do it the radical way – they open up their beautiful treasure chest for all to see, and let their friends become their natural barriers, just like how the sea protects the defenceless coast. Actually, talking about this makes me feel slightly abashed – after all, who am I to talk about such matters when I often layer my actions with symbols, waiting for someday when someone will finally wind their way into my labyrinth, and understand the mysteries that define me.

This reminds me of an analogy I once thought of – that humans are like oysters. We choose to conceal the stunning gem of a person we are with a dull and ordinary shell that many are oft to overlook. I wonder why. But then again, we are all silly people leading silly lives. That’s why I find life so interesting – we don’t do what we are expected to do.

hahaha bomb there’s like no mention of my amazing vacation thus far. Ok ok the photos are still with my sister. We went to some interesting tourist landmark by the coast. Looking at the vast sea often gives me a sense of wonderment and unexplained happiness. The violent waves crushing one another in a stampede to determine who could smash against the rocks first; the occasional ship ambling in the quiescent waters; and the many undefined rocks that Mankind have imposed different interpretations on. haha, in fact, the only downside was that the pants I wore seemed to be at least 5cm larger than my waist so it’s kinda like drooping all the time. Extremely irritating, and there were quite a few times I had to make readjustments to prevent a potential embarrassing scene in front of everyone ><

The bus ride was quite productive – I’ve almost completed my War Games proposal! hahaha it promises to be extremely exciting and exhilarating for both the organizers and scout participants. Can’t wait to explain it in full to my fellow scouties.

Somehow, escaping from the workload, the pressure, the expectations and everyone to a world new world has helped boost my engine of creativity. I think I am able to come up with more ideas and initiatives during this time. hahaha I shall take up on some of these thoughts once I get back to Singapore. mmm

Sometimes, I really wonder how some people can make me wonder so much.

day 1

hahahaha there's internet access in this 5-star hotel! =)

SIA has really improved greatly in a decade. I could still recall the time when airplane food smelt so bad that it provoked a messy response from my mouth. During those days, games were the preferred choice of entertainment, for the movies provided were either too old or too boring. Today, it is no longer the same. Food was excellent and I would think that many might even ask for seconds were such an option provided. As for movies, I was totally enthralled and amazed by the wide array of movies available for viewing. When I saw that ‘Stardust’ was available for watching, I was pleasantly surprised and actually felt excited about it, for the bb27ths had planned to watch it on the coming Monday, which I would have to miss out on since I’m on holiday. And ‘Stardust’ was really da bomb! It was flawless – everything from the plot, to the actors, to design and animation, to graphics, to songs and music was perfectly woven into a heart-warming and, at times, amusing show that never fails to surprise the audience with unexpected twists and turns. Even if we all know that it will ultimately have a ‘happy-ever-after’ ending, it was done so artfully and tastefully that leaves viewers with a lasting aftertaste and a desire to want to watch it over and over again! Stardust is =)

You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn’t true. I know a lot about love. I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves… You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

Once we have alighted from the plane, the first word that struck my mind when I saw the tour group my family has enrolled into was – ‘old’. Really, there were only 1 or 2 teenagers, apart from us, and the rest of the people are much older. Oh well, there goes the fairytale. haha, what fairytale, you might ask? Well, when I was young, I naively believed that when I go overseas, I would meet a girl whom I like and eventually fall in love with her. As such, even though experience had worn out the comfortable fantasy I used to believe in, the subconscious part of me must have recalled bits of the battered dream as my eyes roam to find out the composition of the tour group.

Dinner with my father’s old friend was interesting. Apart from the usual selection of Chinese food that was filling and nice, our sumptuous meal also comprises exotic food that I have never tried before. There was this mustard thingy (can’t remember what it’s called) that tasted quite awful – it was like the cousin of wasabi or something. I ate one and never touched it again. There was another wasabi-like food, and after trying it, I came to the reasonable conclusion that wasabi could be used to serve prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. After all, it inflicts such great torture on our taste buds. But again, there are people who acquired the taste for such weird food. Mmm, our world is really round.

I was reading The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell & Dustin Thomason on the airplane just now and a particular line in the book has left a deep impression on me.

Strange thing, time. It weighs most on those who have it least.

How true.

Right now, as I recall my experience of contained excitement and joy at playing Final Fantasy Anniversary on my brother’s PSP, I begin to realise why so many people of different background all around the world are so hooked onto these virtual games. The most ostensible reason will be that they allow us to escape into a different world and assume multiple characters, showering us with a multitude of options and choices. They grant us the feeling of control over our own destiny – or rather, the character’s destiny in the game – and allow us to relieve our innate desires of being the hero of a fairytale, the prince or princess of a story, or even the dreaded villain that everyone hates. But most importantly, it is the only medium that provides the opportunity for us to ‘turn back time’ and make changes in the game, that is. How many of us have consciously, or even subconsciously, wished to travel back through time and correct the past mistakes that have marred our lives? How many of us have wished that our lives could ‘restart’ and be played all over again? However, no matter how tempting games might be, they are still fantasy, whereas we are still living in reality. There are some things that nothing else in life can substitute or replace, warp or distort – our lives just happen to be one of them.

It is 12.41am now. Taiwan and Singapore has no time zone difference. I think I will start preparing the proposals for War Games and Human Chess. Camp is impending. =)

0102

combined cycling was fantastic!
the ubin part was full of fun and laughter as we experience frisbee, dog and bone, as well as cockfight. hahaha just as the 01 scouts had misunderstood the nature of the game, cockfight, when i first suggested it, let me clarify that it is basically a game where 2 competitors each stand on one leg. so they basically have to hop around and try to knock their opponent down. haha it was quite fun and for my group we had a free-for-all fight where backstabbing and collaboration were prevalent xD

after that, it was dinner before the real night cycling began. actually, to be honest, i was a bit unsure of leading at first. somehow, the surroundings looked different at night, and the other time when we had recced, it was bright and sunny. however, once we started cycling, my confidence grew as memories of the paths urged me forward at every notch and turn. and so, we cycled from changi village to east coast.

but as the old adage goes, 'the best laid plans of mice and men go awry'. and indeed, it was only about 20 mins before the first unpredicted obstacle was chanced upon us. huikiat's bike broke down. like the axle broke completely. ggxx. but in the end we still managed to solve it.

next up - the incessant rain. it was the irritating kind of rain - the type where it is not so heavy that we have to start seeking for shelter, yet not so light that we won't be affected by it either. we continued to push on.

we reached east coast and rested for an hour at burger king. everyone was feeling put out and tired, and many did not wish to continue the next leg of our journey, for the luxuries of staying in the comfort of the food outlet was beginning to cast a sleeping spell over us. yet, we honoured our promises and strove on, for we are scouts.

we cycled to the end of the east coast track, somewhere along tanjong rhu i think, and from there on, kumaran led the way to the kallang river. haha it was a panoramic view - with the illuminated bridge and quiescent waters. i will definitely cycle there once again in the near future. in fact, i think i want to revive my cycling tradition once more.

it was 2+ am in the morning. we were crazy. we decided to cycle all the way back to changi beach park to sleep. and so we did. sometimes, the things we remember most are the hardest things we had to do. the most memorable part of this activity was travelling the stretch beside the airport tracks. due to the lethargy that had set in, i led a comfortable but slow pace at first. but after a while, i broke out of my reverie and started to accelerate until we reached an unbearable speed.

at that point, silence was the only speech. everyone was too tired to speak, and invested all our energies into the simple yet draining task of pedalling the bikes. for me, i relied on my trusty music to keep my mind awake and stay focused.

we reached the end of the track. finally. it was tiring, but it was also rewarding. hahaha. do you know that when you do not sleep for two straight days, your mind will start acting as if you were in a drunken stupor? and yes, i was quite tired then. and started singing 'home'. hahaha super funny and the rest joined in. our chorus of melodious voices was rejuvenating though, and freshened us a bit.

after that, we cycled on and reached our rest point. our luck pulled through - for it was not long after we stopped when the downpour began.

rested.
returned the bikes.
returned home.
slept.

it has been a remarkable journey, and i was glad i got to know the 01 a lot - teeyong, hiok, wenyu, chin yang, and not to forget their sec4s too. =) haha must start compiling the photos into a collective wallpaper too.

memories, crystallized;
bonds, formalized.

hahahaha retreat promises to be extremely fun and exciting! 1 MORE DAY!

retreat!

haha today was council retreat briefing. sounds quite exciting! like there's this sorting hat thingy. mmm can't wait to see which house i will be sorted into? haha i have an inkling it's either gryffindor or slytherin. council retreat follows a 'harry potter' theme and many of the activities sound quite interesting. like 'mirror of ised'. haha dunno what the correct spelling is, but it seems fascinating. most probably a review session of what we desire to do as a council and whether we have achieved it. triwizard tournament! haha i bet it's games between the warring factions. nice i like. can't wait for retreat =)

went to east coast for internal welfare event. turnout wasn't good, but for those who did go, it was definitely nice and fun. thanks welfaries! haha i think lying down on the breakwaters to enjoy the sea breeze was nice. not to forget, there was the panoramic view of the sunset too! yea maybe next time i feeling sian just go east coast. =)

and somehow we started talking about marriages and weddings. funny topic xD

mmmm stardust! a lot of people telling me it's a MUST-WATCH movie and that it's super nice. haha maybe i should go watch it too. yes yes let's start finding people!

oh yes must start thinking of og names already. TOM YAM SOUP! hahaha we thought of this name, quite cool. and i even came up with a cheer for it -

TOM YAM SOUP, TOM YAM SOUP, WE WANT TOM YAM SOUP!

hmmmmm not bad. but tom yam soup is not very green =( so we are gonna think of more exciting alternatives. =)

nick! sounds nicer than nicole. seriously. haha

SCOUTS!

hahahaha ok i lied. i didn't go to pasir ris today. BUT IT WASN'T ON PURPOSE! i really wanted to go there, lie on the beach, rest and relax! haha but there was a sudden scouts briefing which eventually led to raj, vinod, funx and i discussing our annual camp. and we have been super efficient. in less than 4 hours, we completed a comprehensive timeline of our whole camp! hahaha compared to last year when we took more than 4 days just to achieve the same feat, we have definitely learnt much from our experiences.

i really think scouts are awesome. even 01 scouts. hahaha ok shldn't use 'even'. 01 and 02 scouts, we are really quite great! and i'm not being some narcissist or egoistic prick. really, i was just thinking about the range of interesting personalities in both 01 and 02 j1s as well as the times we have had together, and i must say scouting does bring out the best in us. great camaraderie, comfortable working relations, lasting friendships, unforgettable memories, memorable jokes, sweet hardships, joyous tekans, inane acts, insane actions, and many many more!

hahaha ok no matter what others may think (cue: zixin and her rant on how scouts are gay? ><), 01 and 02 j1s, we rock! =)

ok today was refreshing. but i'm totally exhausted now. haha must still go and mug my script. die. x_X

p.s. HAHAHA omg it's really damn fun having a crazy and super lame verbal sparring! thanks royce and kangqi for these interesting conversations! =)

goodbye

Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?

despite the long schedule today, i actually enjoyed classes. maybe it's because of the intelligent crossfire exchange between zixin and i that persisted at random intervals during the day. or perhaps it's talking to sharynn whom i must thank for constantly waking me up. or i guess it might be that my op is finally moving along nicely, and hopefully it will be perfect in 1 weeks' time. AND IT WILL FINALLY BE OVER!

mmm. today's bbhh party was ok i guess. response was fairly good. frisbee! as usual, i enjoyed playing frisbee. hahaha frisbee is like a dance - every throw, every catch and every action is like a step to the beautiful rhythm. the wind, the frisbee and i becomes one, at the fleeting moment when time slows and the frisbee revels in the attention given to it.

these transient images are often replayed in my mind as i try to capture the evasive reason as to why frisbee has me so entranced. today, i think i finally got a glimpse of the truth behind the mystery. freedom and fluidity. playing frisbee calls for fluidity - everything from timing your jumps and runs to catching and throwing the frisbee. it's a flowing movement. it gives you a sense of great freedom and release. it is as if your heart follows the frisbee as it soars towards the boundless sky. frisbee is simply =)

mr. hodge's farewell. to say that he's a fantastic principal is an understatement. always ready with a smile, mr. hodge is really the 'bestest' of the best principal i have ever seen. mr leong's emotional state as he paid a farewell speech to mr. hodge was testimony to how much mr. hodge has impacted his fellow colleagues during the 7 years he was in rjc. when wanjoo told us that the tents that are set up around the school by mr. hodge were for the j2s - to shelter them from the rain should there be a downpour on the day of As - i really felt touched, even though i'm just a j1. i think in all essence, mr. hodge truly redefined the word 'principal' and i really feel grateful for having the opportunity to know him.

goodbye mr. hodge. rjc will miss you. i will miss you too.

life is funny sometimes.
she's like an erratic trickster.
and i got fooled. deceived.
despite all that,
i'm still blessed
with happiness and joy.
why is that so?
maybe it's just how things work.
=)

laughhhhhhhhh!

Seven days without laughter makes one weak.
Mort Walker

hahaha i just woke up and found one million messages and emails. >< luckily none are extremely urgent or anything.

anw just now came back from school and promptly fell asleep after dinner, exhausted from all the laughing today. my cheeks are still aching from all that laughing. hahaha

today (or rather ytd) was fantastic! school was boring, but after school, everything was fun all the way! hahaha HIGHLIGHTS is seriously, seriously the most fun and pro subcomm. and yewei's a good IC too. haha but let me tell you the INJUSTICE i suffered today at the hands of fellow highlighters!

lol it's like after our introductions and stuff, we've started to play games like the omchi omchi one. of course, being proficient in that game and along with my amazing detection skills, i noticed a particular trend forming in the game - everyone seems to be aiming me or the people to my left and right, AS IF THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME! and thus, i discovered... The Conspiracy, led by none other than The Tiny Big Boss.

as such, with such formidable authority behind her, The Tiny Big Boss managed to garner everyone's support, and with a little twist of rules here and there, i finally succumbed to their dark plot, and ended up having to forfeit aka do befrienders' dance xD

hahahaha yea got a few other similar incidents following that, but all in all, it was really quite fun. especially when humairah is constantly laughing, and one must note that her laughter is really infectious too.

following that, we played other games like i never, polar bear, some cross hand thingy, watermelon game that involves making some weird slurping noise, etc... and one game in particular got us all laughing so much we had to visibly restrain ourselves from laughing. haha

and the orientation song is coming along nicely! sean ali and yewei. haha super pro. really nice.

anyway, tired now. HIGHLIGHTS! =)

We don't stop laughing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop laughing.

school. again.

hahaha school was fun today. let's do a short recap, shall we?
lessons.
long, long break.
lessons.
hhbb house party discussions.
tdae postmortem part 1.
general meeting.
dinner!

today's a mix of good and bad.
lessons and the super long break, which i had used to complete council work, were bad.
the rest was good!

tdae postmortem was... interesting.
while the teachers were correct in pointing out the errors we have committed, i no doubt felt a tinge of grievance for my committee at their relentless criticisms. definitely, i agree that internal communication among members of the committee as well as with the teachers could have been very much improved. however, repeating these negative comments does, after a while, become dull and tasteless.

and today, jiaying was just telling me about this 'grow and glow' method she had learnt previously. when someone does a mistake, you find a way to let him grow by telling him where he went wrong. when someone does something well, you praise him appropriately and allow him to glow in his forte.

no doubt, tdae comm had not exhibited great unity in our teamwork and coordination. but i do feel aggrieved when there was a lack of encouragement and praises to the things we did do right. concert was handled extremely well by yanneng. as an artist, albeit a digital one, i felt humbled by decor, accomplished by ben with great hardwork and determination. and this is just the tip of the iceberg.

scientists have proven that everyone learns better with rewards than punishments, with lavished praises than indiscriminate scolding. one simply has to see the analogy manifest in killer whales. trainers of these frightening beasts used treats and rewards to teach them. one could only wonder the fate that lies for the trainer who punished the killer whales to teach them lessons.

hahaha after the postmortem part 1, juanhe made everyone laughed when he said he was traumatised by the whole experience. on a whole, we agreed that the responsibility for the breakdown in communications lied partially with us. acceptance is the first step to enlightenment. hahaha tdae comm shall learn from our mistakes! =)

AND GENERAL MEETING WAS SUPER FUN! lizheng's poems are da bomb. very sweet and nice of him. council retreat sounds very exciting! and HIGHLIGHTS meeting beckons! hahaha yes these are the times that made being a councillor worth every salt of sweat and tears.

dinner was quite interesting actually. haha seriously. oh ya sry wanjoo! next time i shall just tell you about any sort of dinner ok? ><

and this marks the end of a wonderful day. haha after i've completed all my council work, that is.

satisfying day

The whole moon and the entire sky are reflected in one dew drop on the grass.

finally! i get to slack and waste the whole day off - playing games, reading, chatting and basically not doing anything constructive or productive =) such liberties are really hard to come by these days, so must appreciate and enjoy such moments to the fullest.

haha but there's really a lot of work left to be done actually.
council | hhbb house party, investiture peer evaluations, teachers' day peer evaluations and function evaluation, welfare initiatives
scouts | combined activity with 01
pw | exhibition photos, oral presentation
school | homework (:

sian! oh well. actually, somehow while chatting just now, i realised how fast time has actually passed us by. half of our jc life is more or less over. and next year, it will be a lot of studying and less fooling around. why oh why, dear mr. time! so many changes have taken place this year - it's really unprecedented. on hindsight, i've regretted making some choices. but there were also other things that really brightened my life considerably. some goals i have already achieved, whereas others are so difficult i really wonder if they are even possible now.

when i believe in a cause, i commit myself fully to it. 100%. sacrifices are frequently. but often, i'm too idealistic, optimistic and naive to believe that others will do the same, if not better. i guess that's why from time to time, disappointment sets in. haha nvm! i will just continue striving on and hopefully one day my dreams will be realised. =)

today i saw some interesting msn nicknames too. they made me think about the hidden meanings and underlining messages contained. i believe that myriad of display pictures and nicknames we see everyday actually represents a fraction of the emotions a person is feeling. they are like the many stars in the night sky, each twinkling a different and personal message to be conveyed to the world if only one would listen. yes i shall start paying extra attention to emotional nicknames/dps and volunteer a listening ear to those who need it.

most often than not, i think many people are unwilling to ask for help, thinking that by insulating themselves with illusions and facades, they could escape the harsh cold of reality. as such, they express these bottled up feelings in strange codes for everyone to see. in a way, they let loose of their emotions and yet, at the same time, retain the ambiguity and secrecy behind the whole issue.

hahaha and THERE IS REALLY A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 'PRETTY' AND 'CHIO'! i was cycling yesterday and told my frens that but THEY WON'T BELIEVE ME! hahaha but at least a few curious people who asked about it today actually concurred with me. =) i can tell you more about my understanding of these words if you're interested.

wheeeeee! i now know for certain my og is going to rawkkkk! hahaha orientation ftw!

Something with such incredible insignificance often holds the greatest value.

figurative distance

today was rather weird.
i was sad, yet contented;
lethargic, yet energetic;
determined, yet uncertain;
i dunno. i guess the combination of promos, open house and oral presentation really blasted my equilibrium to shreds. sigh.

i think lying is a very difficult art to perform. yesterday, bb finally revived our age-old tradition of eating dinners at the playground beside s11. and we also played polar bear, another ritualistic activity of the past.

for our last game, i was unfortunately selected as the murderer. and my killing career almost came to an end on the very first turn when everyone decided i looked 'evil'. >< but somehow, i survived that precarious moment and instead proceeded all the way to the final round.

that round was insane. accusations were loose; complex webs of lies woven; mental conflict with morals; a war of psychology and minds. after the game, i realised i was actually extremely tired. throughout the game, i found that lying was extremely difficult for me. i may have pulled off a few lies here and there successfully, but each required herculean efforts. luckily for me, it was night time, so nobody could spot my telltale sign of saying a lie - the 'blushing' of the face. sadly, after telling those lies in the game, my face will turn beet red and hot. and it's not an isolated incident. oh well, i guess i'm not meant to lie.

every decision has the potential to change our lives drastically. sometimes, life will even show us a glimpse of the potential future with our various decisions. and when such moments occur, it always gives me a huge headache. should i choose the easier path, or the more challenging one?

sigh. only time will tell if my decision was good.

FIGURATIVE DISTANCE
My subconscious eagerly calls for it,
but my heart refuses to accept, to conform,
leaving the mind in disparate confusion.

Unbidden dreams strangely manifested,
these bewildering images they tell no lie,
perhaps the choices made were finally right.

Figurative distance, such victims we are,
literal gulf, guilty perpetrators no doubt.
We burnt the bridges, and blew final chances.

Mysterious fugitive with the priceless ruby,
reveal your identity, realize your folly.
Time will await; Forgiveness beckons.

Fractured destiny, countless lost souls,
listen to the hidden counsel instincts behold.
Venture forth with valiance and hope,
and undesired separation shall never be retold.

show me your tears,
and i'll show you mine.

open house

open house 2007! really got to thank the oh comm for putting all their efforts into it. imagine, promos was just over and the first thing they had to do was resume council work! can't even take much of a breather, rest and relax. while the house ds also had to come down to school and set up the house booths, it was less pressurizing for us. great job oh comm!

very lazy to write everything down again, so i'll just quote from my email xD.

despite what the teachers may say, i really think most of the befrienders did a great job! personally witnessed a few very helpful and passionate befrienders going around livening the place up, trying their best and providing excellent assistance. haha great job to the befrienders and the two hardworking ics!

decorations were splendid too! haha i particularly liked the 'welcome to the family' banner over at the grass patch. signs were clear and concise too. great job you three!
i think we must really acknowlege jiaying and those who helped out in repairing the hugeeeeeeeee banner too. haha the 'repaired' banner looks as great as new!

the house area was fantastic too! our decor was quite pro and our boards niceeeee. hahaha i shall shamelessly declare that we did a really good job! xD

performances! hahaha very fun to watch. and the befriender's dance also quite fun to dance to.

gift bags are nice too! i particularly liked the sweets. they gave me a sweet tooth so i could sweet-talk to the visitors! hehe

hahaha i think the hardcore shifting of tables and chairs all the way from the mph to block A was exciting and fun actually.
yes saigang is definitely the key to bonding!

aiya actually i just wanted to say that YOU GUYS DID GREAT! short and sweet =)
the house booths a bit subdued, but other than that i think OH was a great platform for the rest of the student body to work with us and know us better!

yup the only downside appears to be the lack of visitors to the house booths. it's as if some intangible divide lies between the sports area and the council area. went to the sports ccas' booths and it was crazily filled with people. sadness. oh well, we tried our best, but it seems visitors are more interested in ccas than the house system.

anw, i'm still feeling damn tired! sigh. no energy and motivation to start work on my op. dry run on monday? sianness. k dun feel like blogging anymore. i shall go do some light reading and rest my weary soul.

time. given freely. taken none.
i hope it helps.

sian.

somehow, i find myself very tired every night after open house preparations these days. i guess it's all the physical work and travelling to and fro from so many places around the school.

recently though, i noticed something weird. it's like, more and more ppl are asking me to get a girlfriend soon. lol super weird right? and of course, my usual response is "man man lai". xD i mean, i dun really see the rush to get a girlfriend, especially since i've always found girls quite confusing. can never make up my mind. when they say 'no', sometimes they really mean 'yes'. omg that's really complicated. my tiny brain cannot comprehend such complex stuff.

and certainly, those who know me understand that i'd never rush into making such an important decision. ya ya i'm actually damn old-fashioned and traditionalist, sticking to my ancient ideals of one-girl-only. yea, but i guess that may be quite a feat if it were ever achieved, given how fickle-minded teenagers tend to be these days. and there are one million and one other factors that come into play.

sian this kind of thing better dun think about. just let nature run its course unfettered. if fate determined that i should have a girlfriend tomorrow, then i'd have one. no use bothering my tired mind. compatibility and chemistry ftw!

open house tomorrow! i really like bb's board design. haha i think it's really nice. hi dear friends who actually read this in time, you better say hello if u visit rjc open house! hahaha then i can give u guys personal tours ya?

op dry run on monday. sadness. no time to prepare at all. tell me if the school system isn't flawed? oh well, no use complaining about it. just have to try our best. pw is the second worst initiative i've ever seen made by the ministry. the first is 5DWW. i'm really, really, REALLY quite against that, having experienced firsthand the backlash it has leashed upon ccas, esp uniform groups. and what it does is simply create legions of differences btw the public and private sectors once more, encouraging a divide, a polarization of the two sectors and more inequality. bleh.

k i'm tired. i bet the open house people are even more tired. good luck and jiayou ppl! haha we'll always be behind you guys! =)